Today I'm taking a plunge. A leap. A hope of what could come, a great risk, an adventure will start from the actions of today.
There's a boy in the mix too. He's very lovely. And this risk I'm taking might change things with him. Its only just started, so I might be blowing out the candle before I've made a wish, but I really hope he doesn't disappear into a memory.
I've got so many boxes to tick in the next few weeks. Life is gathering momentum and its terrifying yet exhilarating. Its like I'm jumping across moving train compartments.
By February, a lot will have changed. I'll try find the time to keep y'all posted.
Sunday 5 January 2014
Soul Meets Body
Change is in the air. A stiff northerly breeze is whisking the cobwebs away and revealing our true intentions. What will happen in February, when so many people might be leaving my life? Will more people enter? And where is all this headed?
Questions I can't answer, can only wait to discover.
A new excitement has taken over me, and it cannot be revealed, but it can only be shared: I have that energy of expectation, hope and ambition. This is what I was looking for, and its the push I need to get the dissertation-ball rolling.
My heart travels to the far reaches of the world. Sam is still in Kuala Lumpur, and will be for the foreseeable future, and now Maria is in Tokyo for at least a year. I hope her all the luck and love in the world, and if all goes to plan, will be seeing her in the summer.
For now, I'm excited to see the uni kids in a couple of weeks. It feels like its been a long time since London, even though it hasn't been that long.
I'm also excited to say that I discovered a new emotion recently. When someone says 'I'm happy for you', I've never really known what that felt like - I've been neither close enough nor in contact enough with my ex's to know of their new relationships and been in a good enough stead to actually wish happiness upon them. But over Christmas, a little piece of news popped up on Facebook, and after some stalking of the wrong people I finally found the girl I was looking for, and I knew as soon as I'd found her. And it makes me laugh, how much she looks like she's the other end of the spectrum to me, yet she makes perfect sense as a girlfriend. And its been long enough, water has passed, whatever other sayings people say - but I genuienly hope you are happy and you feel alive again. I'll probably reiterate these feelings in Southampton, but I wanted to say it properly - I am so happy for you. More than I knew I could be. I thought I'd be jealous, or a bit like 'she's not good enough for you', but I'm just not! Ha, maybe this is how it feels to be a nice person.
Anyway, enough rambling, this year is going to be busy and exciting and I just want to get my teeth into it already.
Questions I can't answer, can only wait to discover.
A new excitement has taken over me, and it cannot be revealed, but it can only be shared: I have that energy of expectation, hope and ambition. This is what I was looking for, and its the push I need to get the dissertation-ball rolling.
My heart travels to the far reaches of the world. Sam is still in Kuala Lumpur, and will be for the foreseeable future, and now Maria is in Tokyo for at least a year. I hope her all the luck and love in the world, and if all goes to plan, will be seeing her in the summer.
For now, I'm excited to see the uni kids in a couple of weeks. It feels like its been a long time since London, even though it hasn't been that long.
I'm also excited to say that I discovered a new emotion recently. When someone says 'I'm happy for you', I've never really known what that felt like - I've been neither close enough nor in contact enough with my ex's to know of their new relationships and been in a good enough stead to actually wish happiness upon them. But over Christmas, a little piece of news popped up on Facebook, and after some stalking of the wrong people I finally found the girl I was looking for, and I knew as soon as I'd found her. And it makes me laugh, how much she looks like she's the other end of the spectrum to me, yet she makes perfect sense as a girlfriend. And its been long enough, water has passed, whatever other sayings people say - but I genuienly hope you are happy and you feel alive again. I'll probably reiterate these feelings in Southampton, but I wanted to say it properly - I am so happy for you. More than I knew I could be. I thought I'd be jealous, or a bit like 'she's not good enough for you', but I'm just not! Ha, maybe this is how it feels to be a nice person.
Anyway, enough rambling, this year is going to be busy and exciting and I just want to get my teeth into it already.
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