Keep Up With My Love

Video bloggers, or vloggers, are quite a phenomenon at the moment, and I have four people to whom I subscribe, who are all linked: Tom Fletcher, lead singer (and the adult one) of McFly, Giovanna Fletcher, author and wife of Tom, Carrie Hope Fletcher, author, singer, actor and younger sister to Tom, and Pete Bucknell (I think thats his surname!), who also sings and mucks about and is Carrie's boyfriend. It sounds weird, that the four of them all make videos and put them on youtube and I watch every single one, but its a comfort, a habit, and their lives fill me with hope.

The fletcher family is very talented, and their songs (and projects) keep my head buzzing with ideas, with inspiration, and with general warmth. Carrie's songs are stunning and I wish I had an ounce of her skill:

There are a few things that I cannot watch without crying, and they are as follows:

1. That episode of Doctor Who, Doomsday. The end. Him not quite saying it. Just... breaks every inch of my face.

2. The One When Chandler Proposes to Monica. I know it's stupid, but from entering the apartment, the candles everywhere, all the way til the end when they are just dancing around the room, it gives me shivers. It's the argument I'll always use: Ross and Rachel aren't the best couple in friends, because they don't have that moment. That 'weak at the knees' moment.

3. Tom's Wedding Speech. 

A couple moments just hit me right in the feels. When he's singing to Carrie, about being grown up, I have this little squirm of 'cute older brother' which I have never really had in real life. Yes, I wish Tom was my big brother. No offence James... And when he is singing to Mario, and says 'but I love your daughter and you let me make her my wife and I'll love her for all my life' = tears. The idea that one day someone might ask my father for permission to marry me? Ridiculous. Hilarious. Horrifying. But this, this is magical, and I wish my family had that side to it. And lastly, at the very end, 'here's to my beautiful wife, from today for all my life': they are what I want my relationships, my marriage, to be. They are my ideal for marriage, for a family, for what making that commitment to each other should look like and feel like. I know its farfetched, but is it too much to ask for, for eternal happiness?

And I love both Carrie and Giovanna for their positive role model attitudes. They don't preacher anything, but they both have confidence and independence nailed, and they have very lovely bodies and faces without being the idyllic size, the industry standard, the picture-perfect poster girl that I have grown up looking at. And I now find myself, instead of searching for ways to lose weight, I'm searching for ways to be happy with what I look like. God bless the Fletcher family.

It might be worth noting that these, as well as many books and films and everything else, prove a useful distraction from real life and real people. One day I'll explain, but I'm not ready to yet.

I'm going to try to take all the negativity out of my life. 24 hours without complaining, smiling more, and trying to spread happiness and positivity. If I really push, I wonder what the universe will give me back...