Three celts and a black man walked into a room...

I'm going to copy and paste another persons blog. I love this person, and the way that they write and see the world and allow me into their head in a magical yet unending way. I miss the way that every day I would try to find out what this person had been up to. I miss, for a brief yet amazing period of time when I was 12, I would see this person every day. This person has so many links into my life, and this person is one of the first things that I ever mentally ticked off my bucket list: meet my idol. Tell him how beautiful his music is. Make him smile, and feel like I'm not just a meaningless pawn in the fan-world: he had the time to say hello, to learn my name and ask where he knew me from, and I love him for that. I don't care what people say about reality tv stars, and 'celebrity' not meaning anything these days - all my notions of fame and respect start with him. One day, I hope to meet him again, and be less nervous and/or drunk. That would be ace.

So, over to Ainslie:

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

"sometimes the sun works against me and although it s warrm and like your mother used to say you should be out side i just want to hide in the shadows or curl up in bed, i've so much i should be happy for today and im getting the feeling to run away. you could call me ungratefull. i'm not ,good things but theres a little knot of something and it wont go away. and it's when you feel you shouldn't be feeling things that you sometimes feel them most. i'm still playing with the boundaries of how much i can let out here. but fuck it. no one has to read what they dont want to. and this is just how it is today, everything feels like a compitition that i'm losing , i am a spelling mistake and what a sad view of life this is. the only reason i put up this blog is so i can take comfort in it's passing."