I can't get over you.
Its a safe assumption that I won't be under you anytime soon either.
I feel myself getting wrapped around you; I can't get away long enough to get free. Like elastic, or a magnet, I just get drawn straight back.
Its the most frustrating thing. I have become bitter, twisted, angry at others who have similar issues. Somehow this bubbly feeling that happens, somewhere between my lungs and my liver; its broken me.
I wish I could hit delete on this emotion. I wish I could undo this year for the sake of not wasting my time with it. I wish I could just yell all these feelings at you and then run away for a month and not have to deal with you being so damn charming about everything.
I wish I could become 'default drunk laura' and just numb all emotions, sleep with random people and come out of the situation through the wrong door. That version of me has gone. I think she got lost in the maize.
I wish I didn't feel so disgusting when Duke tried it on with me. I wish I could just say 'yeah, why not' and wake up to another mistake.
I can't. I can't let other people in while you are in my head. I can't even let other people touch me while you are in my head. Im a helter skelter on your little finger because I don't know how to do anything now. Even a quick drink at the pub... well, leads to this.
Have me. Hurt me. Hate me. Hit me. Harass me. Help me. Do something. Anything.
Because I can't live here, like this, for much longer.