I can't help but worry about the future: it's a daunting, huge prospect which sometimes I feel like I have absolutely no control over. And no matter how much my parents tell me that "you've got to have a plan", a lot of the people in the industry and in life around me could never have planned their greatest success.
Having said this, sometimes the past haunts us just as much, or more so, than the future. This chasm of our past life, this gaping fear of a remembered fear or nightmare coming back, and affecting our lives forever. There is something horrifying about thinking that all the mistakes we make as children, as rebellious teenagers and as drunk adults can never be forgotten, or undone, or removed from memory. Of course we can't change the past, but we can accept it. We can embrace our fears: I used to have a fear of driving. When I was fifteen my sister let me drive the Micra about twenty feet, and the nightmares stopped. I used to have nightmares about ladybirds, spiders and gross insects literally swallowing me whole. I can't say that they never happen anymore, but at least I am prepared, with newspapers and cups and all, to kill the little blighters.
I have had a few nightmares recently. I can't really control them, but I can accept my fear and give myself the upper hand. No matter what it is that scares you, you can always equip yourself to fight it, to overcome it and eventually it might even be scared of you.
Ladybirds, however, will always give me shivers, no matter how accepting or well-equipped I am. Shame.