I want to be in love again. I miss it. I miss having someone to give all my energy to. A someone to let my mind drift off to, a someone to think about as I fall asleep, a someone to just cuddle and steal warmth from.
I also miss my best friends. I believe things happen for reasons, and I believe everything happens when it's supposed to, whether we like it or not. But me coming home was swiftly followed by Sam moving to Kuala Lumpur, Milli moving to Burgess Hill, Maria moving to Torquay and Chamaale's off to Sri Lanka tomorrow. The world is telling me to meet new people, or something, but it sucks not having them here. I miss laughing with my friends.
I miss drinking green tea, eating biscuits and watching something in our living room.
I miss having someone to go to the pub with, any night, because she's a trooper, even if she's got shit to do the next day she'd still be there, buying me shots.
I miss having someone in the car with me, sleeping in Helen's room, struggling through a day of work on the van with me, keeping me awake as we drive through the morning.
I miss being able to sit in the red room and waste hours doing nothing, just chatting shit and watching disney films.
I miss my ladies. I've still got George, who I will cling to with all my might. And on friday night, typical trip to the Dragon, Jasmine summed up both our lives in one sentence. "You know what sucks? You're basically my best friend now." Of course, this wasn't a mean thing to say. I work with her, she's my fake-brother's girlfriend and we hang out, drink together and meet up a lot anyway. But it means we're all each other has, and that's the part that sucks.
I can't wait for the 24th of September. I'm slightly terrified, as I always am when meeting new people, and having to force myself to seem normal around them. But equally, I'm so excited. I just want to dive right in. Put my life back into perspective, get some good things into my head, get some people in my life and just roll. In the last two days I have watched 11 episodes of 'My So-Called Life', each of which is 47 minutes long. That's 517minutes of my life that I had nothing better to do with in the last two days.
Bugger my life sucks.