My alarm went off at 7.30 this morning. I hit snooze, and as per usual, after 5 minutes, was too tired to do anything, so smacked my phone, which tends to turn off the alarm. Not great. So I then slept for another half an hour. Not only did this make me late leaving the house for my weekly clean in Acle (luckily bad traffic meant I had a valid excuse, my over-sleeping was not brought into question), but this also allowed for 30 minutes of mental half-awake, I've-turned-my-lights-on style dreams.
The setting was this big old village-hall looking room, except I think it was supposed to be the drama studio at my high school (which is odd, as I don't dream about high school ever anymore). And whatever was happening there was quite relaxed, but I think my notion of school slipped into my dream, because we were all sitting on the floor, with cushions and shit, staring up at the stage. I found Al, Nathan, Macina, Will, Coates, Matt and, sitting nearby, Adam, all in a group. We all sat together chatting. Nathan was explaining who we were about to see to me - it was an Italian opera singer famous for being directly related to the mafia; Macina of course made comment. People asked why certain people were missing - I explained Maria's in Italy, and Macina explained that Martin and Paul were in Aberdeen, filming. As you do. So, this guy comes out, fat and in a suit, and starts singing. Adam starts to applaud really loudly, and we all shift further away from him, annoyed. Around the edge of the room was a big black curtain, I think they're useful for the sound quality, or something, and there's about two feet gap between them and the wall. As we shuffle, Matt becomes lost in curtain. As the others laugh at the situation, I try and help him out, and as I do so I notice that at the back of the room, hidden from sight by the curtain, and only therefore visible by me, is an Observer (creepy people in Fringe, completely bald, suit and hat, briefcase and no eyebrows, from the future, able to read minds, very fucking scary and can apparate suddenly and move through time and space effortlessly, rending human weapons useless). When I see him I panic, and hastily act like I didn't see him, and try block my thoughts, in case he's looking. I then realise something else: a lot of the people in the room are quite important. Some very intelligent professors, some financial types, lots of suits and lots of power. I realise how stupid it is that a bunch of post-grad idiots may be caught in a terrorist attack, and I think 'fuck, we need to get out', but obviously I can't tell anyone. So I take out my phone, and try typing a message. I write the message really slowly, in between each word I think up a bunch of other words, telling a weird story, so that my thoughts can't be infiltrated. My message includes a warning about being mind-read. I pass it to Matt, and Nathan reads it over his shoulder. They both stare at me, terrified but blank. As the message gets passed along, Al is the only one to speak up, offering 'I really need a piss, can we go find the toilets?' but Nathan points to the toilets door - it's next to where the Observer is hidden. My phone is passed back to me, and Al points to Adam - he wants to warn him too. I shrug and pass him back my phone, but Adam reads it and basically swears at us all, so we decide to leave him to die.
I can see a stage door up and to the left of where we are sat; I nod Matt towards it; he does lots of hand gestures I don't understand. I try explain this to him, and he passes me his iPhone, earplugs and all, and mimics music in ears. I realise what he's doing - keeping the observer's out. Everyone follows suit, but it means that we now have to communicate through sign language. Al, Will and Macina stay in the room, trying to 'act casual', whilst Matt, Nathan, Coates and I explore the stage doors. We find two path ways, so me and Nathan take the right, and the other two take the left. As we walk, I realise how quiet it is outside my earphones - the stage doors must be soundproof. I turn the music down, and as we turn a corner we hear voices, and I recognise one immediately - that of Peter Bishop / Pacey Whitter / Joshua Jackson. And of course, being my dream, I don't understand which one he is. So he explains that he's Joshua, but in Peter's world ie. the Fringe world is real, but the Observers are after him, so it's best to call him Pacey, so they don't know who we're referring to. He tells us that there are no ways out back here, so he comes with us to find the rest of the guys. We find coates and matt, but the boys have disappeared from the hall, so we start to panic a bit. 'Pacey' tries to keep us calm, and hands us each a observer-tech gun, that can kill them. I ask where he got them from, he won't tell me, so I ask where Olivia and Walter are, and he looks sheepish. He explains that the observers, through their manipulation of time, have once again deleted peter's existence from their universe, but he has once again survived, despite being in the wrong timeline. He therefore is on his own, but really thankful for meeting me, because no one else believes him. Suddenly loads of people in the hall are scattering and we can't see the observers, so Nathan opens the door a fraction and takes out his earplugs - a high, deafening tone is screeching through everyone's minds. We see the opera singer has collapsed, and some italian looking thugs are around him, controlling the noises being made. Matt understands, and tells us all - the Mafia are on our side. Obviously the observers, in wanting to control everything, have pissed off the mafia, and they're fighting back, with the same idea matt had but much more controlled / effective. So we approach the Mafia, and in following them back to the dressing room, find Macina, Al and Will, who had all figured out what we just had. Suddenly all the lights go out and we're trapped, the music has all been switched off and the dressing room can't hear the high-pitch tone. 'shit', Pacey mumbles, 'everyone grab hold of everyone else, we need to know we're all still here.' We all shuffle around in the dark, saying names and checking people are all still present. Yes, we're fine. I'm in between Nathan and Pacey, and Nathan's making stupid comments about how he has sweaty palms, and he's really sorry. I feel Pacey's grip tighten, something's wrong. Suddenly we're all yanked; like a rope attached to your insides is stretched, and we're moving through time and space, and we're in a really bright, cold room, all concrete and ugly and plain, huge windows showing the disgusting New York of 2037. As we land, everyone is split up; dozens of observers have descended upon us and are trying to seperate our limbs, any touching, and I notice one observer is on the floor in pain, he's the one that just lifted us out and he's taken the hit for such a move. In the light I see how many - us 8 plus another 10 or so mafia members. People scramble to safety and shit starts getting real: the Mafia guys have gone into war-mode, and with their own tech they're blasting the room apart trying to shoot the observers, who are apparating around the room like bouncy balls. I'm still holding on to both nathan and pacey, but an observer is getting dangerously close to me as he avoids the mafia gunshots, and pacey yanks me towards him, leaving nathan exposed. An observer lands above him, and he's reading him, we can all feel he is, and I panic that my thoughts haven't been hidden at all, and suddenly Will jumps out from behind Nathan and shoots the observer square in the chest. I wonder how Will got the gun and see Coates' body at the back of the room. Something hits me; a wave of realisation, shit, coates is dead. Shit, I might die. Shit. I look back to Pacey and he's loading a gun, and he's putting it in my hands, and putting grenades in my pockets and I feel terrified. But behind him, I see Al, Macina, Matt, and a couple Mafia guys in combat mode. And they're all fighting like its a war, and the block of rubble that Al is hiding behind gets blown apart, and he turns, exposed, and three observers creep in on him, so he opens fire on them and falls in a blaze of glory, killing two and wounding the third, who then tries to apparate away but Matt grabs his arm and puts a gun to his head; as he does so, sirens trigger, and I see maybe 10 more observers crowding in on him, not wanting him to get to their safety point, and I see his earplugs in, he's blocking their thoughts, because this is a plan, this is a set-up, and he's the bait. Macina, Will and Nathan have been pushed to the back of the room by the mafia, who open a grenade-looking device and throw it to Matt, who catches it, and smiles at his surrounding foe, and a gas leaks out: 80%nitrogen, 20%oxygen, its our pure air that they can't breathe. I try move toward the smog, try to figure out if Matt will survive, I can't figure out if the gas is actually poisonous to us, because if it isn't, why did the mafia move the other boys away? But as I ponder this, pacey moves us out of the room and we're running. The whole of central park has been concreted over and it's vast, and it looks like a concrete desert, never ending, as far as the eye can see, the direction in which we're headed has two tower blocks at the end but nothing else, making it an open landscape, and we're both very easy targets. He's trying to teach me to run whilst crouching, and I can't focus because my music is too loud, and he's not got music, and I'm worried about his thoughts. But then I hear his thoughts: like a radio in my brain, he's telling me it's fine, he's mastered their control of thoughts, he's hacked into their system and he can do it all himself. I'm amazed at this, and ask how, as Etta died before she could teach him. 'in this universe, where I don't exist, there is no etta, but there is a lincoln, and he didn't die'. Lincoln; of course, he would never have moved to the alternate universe. Pacey's thoughts linger in my mind as we run, and then I think about moving faster - time-jumping, 'leaping', spiderman, superman, all the ways in which one can cross distances faster. And then, we're flying, we're in the air, and we're being attacked by the observers. Full on flying/fighting sequence, I'm pretty terrified and don't know how it is that I'm flying, so refuse to let go of Pacey's hand, and then I look over to the two tower blocks we were running towards and I see the Boys all lined up on the ground, half of them firing at the observers, the other half manning a giant machine which appears to be the reason why we're flying. And I duck as a shot comes straight past me, and I feel Pacey ducking and dodging too, and I find in my pocket one of those banger things that create a huge amount of smoke, magicians use them, and I remember I found it earlier that day, and steal an observers hat, throw the banger as hard as I can on top of the hard surface of the hat, and as the smoke clouds around them, I let go of Pacey's hand and I drop, and I fall quite quickly, and my ankle hurts, and I hit the ground and start running toward the boys, and they've done something to the machine so it's flashing, it looks like a bomb; like they've created an anti-gravity ball, shelled it, and now they're going to blow it up, and I don't know where Pacey is but I can't afford to look back because I'm directly beneath it so I keep running and as I run I see that who I'm following is Macina, Nathan and some Mafia guys, and I stumble slightly, and I fall and scrape my hands but roll and push myself up and keep running, and I think I'm bleeding now but I can't stop running, the huge ball in the sky has a shadow which I'm still inside, and the the edge of the shadow is not too far away now, so I push myself harder, I keep running, I run past the big machine, and it has five seconds left on the clock, and I keep running and I'm counting in my head, and I hear another voice counting in my head, but it's not Pacey, and I'm confused, and I'm listening, and I realise it's Lincoln, and he's urging me on, just a couple more meters, come on, 3, 2, almost there, 1... I turn around, knowing that if this is my last moment I may as well see it, and I see Pacey is being half-carried by Matt and Will, and they're wearing gas masks and they throw him out of the shadow and he comes tumbling towards me, and the sky explodes in a huge inferno, and as the fire rains down from the now dying bubble, and the smoke is creeping out of the gaps, and the suited bodies start falling from the sky like flies, Matt and Will stand over us, bloody and sweaty and triumphant, and pacey is in a heap next to me, he's missing an arm, he's badly bleeding, and Will, through his gas mask, says "and the skinny guys win again", beaming. Pacey laughs, but in my head I hear Lincoln; he's telling us to keep moving, one observer stayed alive long enough to alert the rest of our position. We scramble together, we walk towards the tower blocks, and... I wake up.
Wednesday 21 November 2012
Sunday 18 November 2012
'Coping'
I have two types of anger; a really loud, ugly kind, and a very cold, cruel, quiet kind. Not many things bring out the latter, but I've felt a lot of it recently. Too much, almost.
I don't want to go into the details about it; they're long and boring. To sum up, my sister has a shit lot of money just hanging around, but basically refuses to help me with my tuition at all because she thinks that I'm not struggling enough yet. As if there is some kind of chart to go by.
Equally, my father told me seven months ago, when I moved home, that I wasn't allowed a boy here, ever. I asked many questions, of course, like 'what if I had a boyfriend?' - 'no, when you have a boyfriend, you can wait until you live together. That's what your mother and I had to do; that's what all of you lot have to do too. The same rules apply to everyone'.
This obviously was a bit harsh, considering that once upon a time I actually frequently had boys here and they didn't ever have 'chats' with me when I was 18, so why start now, when I'm actually more mature/sensible/respectful of their home. But whatever, their rules, I don't want to piss them off. So I didn't.
This weekend, my brother brings his girlfriend over from Holland to meet the parents, and to join in at my brother's best friend's girlfriend's surprise party, thrown at our house. This was all well and good, it was fun, drinks were had, I got to know my brother's girlfriend, she's a really nice person and we bonded over the backstreet boys. Then, when the party was over, and everyone went to bed, where did they both go? Into my brother's room, of course. OH WAIT, what's that dad? We're all treated the same, have to abide by the same rules, etc etc? Bullshit. I don't care if he's the prodigal son or the fucking messiah, he's clearly never been given the 'chat' before in his life and I hate that he gets to breeze past all the shit that I have to deal with in this house.
So right now, I have a lot of silent rage about my siblings, and my parents, and the whole circle of crap I find myself in.
So now I'm thinking I probably can't afford to go see Muse. And I'm also thinking, I can't afford our family trip to the Netherlands at Christmas. But obviously, I have to go, so it will just involve everyone else paying for me again, and I hate that too, because there is this silent attitude of how I'm the youngest, I don't have a highly-paid job, and I still live at home. Brilliant. At least this year I don't have to listen to my siblings telling me how much I need to change my life... because I already went and did that. Look where that got me. Once again, thanks a bunch guys.
I don't want to go into the details about it; they're long and boring. To sum up, my sister has a shit lot of money just hanging around, but basically refuses to help me with my tuition at all because she thinks that I'm not struggling enough yet. As if there is some kind of chart to go by.
Equally, my father told me seven months ago, when I moved home, that I wasn't allowed a boy here, ever. I asked many questions, of course, like 'what if I had a boyfriend?' - 'no, when you have a boyfriend, you can wait until you live together. That's what your mother and I had to do; that's what all of you lot have to do too. The same rules apply to everyone'.
This obviously was a bit harsh, considering that once upon a time I actually frequently had boys here and they didn't ever have 'chats' with me when I was 18, so why start now, when I'm actually more mature/sensible/respectful of their home. But whatever, their rules, I don't want to piss them off. So I didn't.
This weekend, my brother brings his girlfriend over from Holland to meet the parents, and to join in at my brother's best friend's girlfriend's surprise party, thrown at our house. This was all well and good, it was fun, drinks were had, I got to know my brother's girlfriend, she's a really nice person and we bonded over the backstreet boys. Then, when the party was over, and everyone went to bed, where did they both go? Into my brother's room, of course. OH WAIT, what's that dad? We're all treated the same, have to abide by the same rules, etc etc? Bullshit. I don't care if he's the prodigal son or the fucking messiah, he's clearly never been given the 'chat' before in his life and I hate that he gets to breeze past all the shit that I have to deal with in this house.
So right now, I have a lot of silent rage about my siblings, and my parents, and the whole circle of crap I find myself in.
So now I'm thinking I probably can't afford to go see Muse. And I'm also thinking, I can't afford our family trip to the Netherlands at Christmas. But obviously, I have to go, so it will just involve everyone else paying for me again, and I hate that too, because there is this silent attitude of how I'm the youngest, I don't have a highly-paid job, and I still live at home. Brilliant. At least this year I don't have to listen to my siblings telling me how much I need to change my life... because I already went and did that. Look where that got me. Once again, thanks a bunch guys.
Wednesday 14 November 2012
Old or New?
I feel very different at the moment. Very weird. Like I don't quite remember who I'm supposed to be. And it's weird to think 'is this the new me?' when new defines something fresh, something clean and sparkly and untouched. I'm definitely not new. But is this me, being old? Becoming the older version of myself? Words are getting caught in my brain today, like flies on sticky paper.
I keep feeling like I'm about to cry. I'll think of something tiny, one miniscule detail, and a huge emotion will hit me, like when a lorry drives past and you get the after-gust of air. Its horrible, I don't feel safe thinking about anything today.
I hate this county. I've been trying to surpress it, ignore it, hell I've even been saying 'No laura, positive thoughts only', but it won't go away. This place is swallowing me up. I've barely got back and I already feel lost and fucking depressed. The post-holiday come down.
I just keep thinking about one of my new favourite songs, Broken Crown, from Mumford's new album Babel. The last line just goes "And in this twilight our choices seal our fate". I think my fate is pretty sealed for the next year or so, and I hate it, because even though I feel so crap right now, I'd make the same choices all over again. I just have to grit my teeth and soldier on.
Sorry about the whine. Hopefully the next one will be happier.
I keep feeling like I'm about to cry. I'll think of something tiny, one miniscule detail, and a huge emotion will hit me, like when a lorry drives past and you get the after-gust of air. Its horrible, I don't feel safe thinking about anything today.
I hate this county. I've been trying to surpress it, ignore it, hell I've even been saying 'No laura, positive thoughts only', but it won't go away. This place is swallowing me up. I've barely got back and I already feel lost and fucking depressed. The post-holiday come down.
Sorry about the whine. Hopefully the next one will be happier.
Tuesday 13 November 2012
And After All, You're My Wonderwall
This week, this month so far, has been excellent. So much happiness, so many freaking awesome moments that I will remember and cherish for as long as my memory lasts. I don't know where to begin in describing these amazing few days.
Manchester
A blur of driving, laughing, and dancing. Was amazing to see the boys again, had some good chats about bugger all (isn't that all we ever do?), ate some good food, drank some drink and danced into the small hours in a very alternative indie/old school club, many sweaty mancs around us, singing our hearts out to the classics by Oasis, Arctic Monkeys, Mumford and Sons (heck yes) and various others. My feet just couldn't stop moving, I loved every second of it.
Southampton
I wasn't totally prepared for the state of the home I was entering. Coates' crap was just littered everywhere, the incarnation of the relationship he ended, just thrown into the living room whilst his ex girlfriend piles things neatly into her own room. Very bizarre. And luckily, I had other places to be.
I went to Starbucks and met with the two faces who haunted my dreams for a year or so: Sophie and Matt. And it felt so strange to be sat there, the three of us, trying to calculate all the things that have and have not changed since we three sat down together like that. It was quite incredible, in my head, at least, as nothing was really mentioned, which I was quite grateful for. Its hard to tell people you haven't seen in over a year how hard it is to go from university to home, and realise you've left behind every single amazing friend you made at uni, in one form or another, and that in the moment you realise that, you also realise how much you regret the ways things ended between a lost friend. I went to late lunch with Sophie, in Bella, as per usual, and it felt very normal. And I tried to explain a few things to her, not sure how that really went, but at least I finally gave her her present. It was strange, because it felt like I had a billion and one things to tell her and I just didn't know how to get them all out. And it was so spooky - I later explained to Maria, who was equally spooked - how my dream had happened just before Sophie's world get really shit. Sometimes, I swear, my dreams are fucking psychic.
So then, things got interesting. Went and got Coates, went to Soul Cellar for a couple drinks, then got in to the Guildhall and heard the last song of the supporting act, whoever that was, and had a couple more drinks. Chatted a lot about life, and how Coates REALLY needs to sort his out. Like, I can't write some of the shit that was mentioned, but Oh My God. That boy really has dug a massive hole for himself. And so, drink in hand, we stood in the crowd and watched one of our favourite people come out and perform a half hour slot before Twin Atlantic came out. It was very good, as ever, he ended with Riverbanks, as always, and I felt that thing I feel sometimes, where I don't feel anyone else in the room, or anything else going on, I just feel music. Its a pretty trippy feeling, but I loved it. I felt so connected with it all that night. Southampton was giving me this amazing night, all these amazing memories, and I felt so at peace with the city, despite this odd sense of not belonging, and of nostalgia.
Then, we went to Rhino. We skipped half of Twin Atlantic's set, they were alright, his voice got really grating and the crowd were slightly too young for my liking (yet mainly male, which was weird). So we went to Rhino. And we drank more, and chatted more, and the chat became drunken chat, and I'm not entirely sure of half the things that were chatted about. And then the house DJ came out and played every single pop/punk/rock/alternative band that were around in the late 90s, and we danced like the floor was on fire. Blink, Jimmy Eat World, Sum41, all those types of bands, all those tunes that make you think of American Pie, and the first Scream, and staying up later than you'd ever stayed up, for no reason at all, just because you were young and wanted to be wild. That music makes me so incredibly happy, it was the perfect start to the night. And so, after a couple hours of dancing, (by this point I was drinking water), the DJ booth changed hands, and the boys that took over were Charlie Simpson, Nick Walpole and the rest of the band, and the music was amazingly loud, and we were dancing in front of the speaker, right up in front of the DJ booth, and it was an hour or so of pure joy. Chop Suey was amazingly hilarious, I've never screamed so much, and Coates had many fist-bumps with the guys in the booth, and he was like a giddy little child, and it was pretty amazing. I had a few revelations about the girls who are old enough to go to clubs but also like Charlie Simpson - they're all dressed like sluts and don't know who Rage or System are. I felt quite unique that night. But those girls aside, it was an incredible night.
Torquay
Where to even start. It felt like being at home, Maria's room was decorated with all the things she had in the last three houses, so it felt so comfortable. The smell on incense, the bean bags, I literally wanted to curl up and never leave. She cooked paella, we cooked breakfast together, we drove and we laughed and we chatted about life, and it was so good to be in a space of relaxation with my best friend, and just suppress all my worries and problems. The first night, we found army boys. The second day, I met her grandparents, and had some an amazing talk with 'yaya'. That night we went exploring on the cliffs in the rain, I found a place Maria didn't know existed. The Saturday, my last day, we went everywhere. We had cream teas for breakfast, the sky was beautiful and clear, we drove down to the beach and walked along the rocks, we found a waterfall, we drove around, found Labrador Bay, had a nice steep climb, saw some amazing views, drove back and found Thatcher's Rock and had a climb on the rocks, had a sit and a chat, took in the beauty and splendor of Torbay, and then we drove to Teignmouth, got a bit lost, had a walk around, finally got some grub, and drove to Stansted, seeing an array of firework displays along the way. It was incredible, it was stunning and serene, and I'm so looking forward to going over to the West Country in the summer time. And my heart feels slightly lost, knowing how far away Maria now is, but having had the amazing week that I have, I can at least feel glad that I got to see her, and that I got to have such an extraordinary few days, enjoying the things that England has to offer, and catching up with many old friends.
This has been the best holiday I've ever had without leaving the country. I feel like the happiness I've felt will keep my heart warm in the cold weeks to come. I hope everyone else that I spent this time with has enjoyed it too; next stop, London for New Year's!
Manchester
A blur of driving, laughing, and dancing. Was amazing to see the boys again, had some good chats about bugger all (isn't that all we ever do?), ate some good food, drank some drink and danced into the small hours in a very alternative indie/old school club, many sweaty mancs around us, singing our hearts out to the classics by Oasis, Arctic Monkeys, Mumford and Sons (heck yes) and various others. My feet just couldn't stop moving, I loved every second of it.
Southampton
I wasn't totally prepared for the state of the home I was entering. Coates' crap was just littered everywhere, the incarnation of the relationship he ended, just thrown into the living room whilst his ex girlfriend piles things neatly into her own room. Very bizarre. And luckily, I had other places to be.
I went to Starbucks and met with the two faces who haunted my dreams for a year or so: Sophie and Matt. And it felt so strange to be sat there, the three of us, trying to calculate all the things that have and have not changed since we three sat down together like that. It was quite incredible, in my head, at least, as nothing was really mentioned, which I was quite grateful for. Its hard to tell people you haven't seen in over a year how hard it is to go from university to home, and realise you've left behind every single amazing friend you made at uni, in one form or another, and that in the moment you realise that, you also realise how much you regret the ways things ended between a lost friend. I went to late lunch with Sophie, in Bella, as per usual, and it felt very normal. And I tried to explain a few things to her, not sure how that really went, but at least I finally gave her her present. It was strange, because it felt like I had a billion and one things to tell her and I just didn't know how to get them all out. And it was so spooky - I later explained to Maria, who was equally spooked - how my dream had happened just before Sophie's world get really shit. Sometimes, I swear, my dreams are fucking psychic.
So then, things got interesting. Went and got Coates, went to Soul Cellar for a couple drinks, then got in to the Guildhall and heard the last song of the supporting act, whoever that was, and had a couple more drinks. Chatted a lot about life, and how Coates REALLY needs to sort his out. Like, I can't write some of the shit that was mentioned, but Oh My God. That boy really has dug a massive hole for himself. And so, drink in hand, we stood in the crowd and watched one of our favourite people come out and perform a half hour slot before Twin Atlantic came out. It was very good, as ever, he ended with Riverbanks, as always, and I felt that thing I feel sometimes, where I don't feel anyone else in the room, or anything else going on, I just feel music. Its a pretty trippy feeling, but I loved it. I felt so connected with it all that night. Southampton was giving me this amazing night, all these amazing memories, and I felt so at peace with the city, despite this odd sense of not belonging, and of nostalgia.
Then, we went to Rhino. We skipped half of Twin Atlantic's set, they were alright, his voice got really grating and the crowd were slightly too young for my liking (yet mainly male, which was weird). So we went to Rhino. And we drank more, and chatted more, and the chat became drunken chat, and I'm not entirely sure of half the things that were chatted about. And then the house DJ came out and played every single pop/punk/rock/alternative band that were around in the late 90s, and we danced like the floor was on fire. Blink, Jimmy Eat World, Sum41, all those types of bands, all those tunes that make you think of American Pie, and the first Scream, and staying up later than you'd ever stayed up, for no reason at all, just because you were young and wanted to be wild. That music makes me so incredibly happy, it was the perfect start to the night. And so, after a couple hours of dancing, (by this point I was drinking water), the DJ booth changed hands, and the boys that took over were Charlie Simpson, Nick Walpole and the rest of the band, and the music was amazingly loud, and we were dancing in front of the speaker, right up in front of the DJ booth, and it was an hour or so of pure joy. Chop Suey was amazingly hilarious, I've never screamed so much, and Coates had many fist-bumps with the guys in the booth, and he was like a giddy little child, and it was pretty amazing. I had a few revelations about the girls who are old enough to go to clubs but also like Charlie Simpson - they're all dressed like sluts and don't know who Rage or System are. I felt quite unique that night. But those girls aside, it was an incredible night.
Torquay
Where to even start. It felt like being at home, Maria's room was decorated with all the things she had in the last three houses, so it felt so comfortable. The smell on incense, the bean bags, I literally wanted to curl up and never leave. She cooked paella, we cooked breakfast together, we drove and we laughed and we chatted about life, and it was so good to be in a space of relaxation with my best friend, and just suppress all my worries and problems. The first night, we found army boys. The second day, I met her grandparents, and had some an amazing talk with 'yaya'. That night we went exploring on the cliffs in the rain, I found a place Maria didn't know existed. The Saturday, my last day, we went everywhere. We had cream teas for breakfast, the sky was beautiful and clear, we drove down to the beach and walked along the rocks, we found a waterfall, we drove around, found Labrador Bay, had a nice steep climb, saw some amazing views, drove back and found Thatcher's Rock and had a climb on the rocks, had a sit and a chat, took in the beauty and splendor of Torbay, and then we drove to Teignmouth, got a bit lost, had a walk around, finally got some grub, and drove to Stansted, seeing an array of firework displays along the way. It was incredible, it was stunning and serene, and I'm so looking forward to going over to the West Country in the summer time. And my heart feels slightly lost, knowing how far away Maria now is, but having had the amazing week that I have, I can at least feel glad that I got to see her, and that I got to have such an extraordinary few days, enjoying the things that England has to offer, and catching up with many old friends.
This has been the best holiday I've ever had without leaving the country. I feel like the happiness I've felt will keep my heart warm in the cold weeks to come. I hope everyone else that I spent this time with has enjoyed it too; next stop, London for New Year's!
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