I'll never stop.
I forgot I had these feelings, and yesterday they resurfaced. I remembered them, every single little emotion, like they'd just been sleeping.
You were my best friend.
You'd talk to me; we'd always have stuff to chat about. I always felt more open; more comfortable being open with you; it came so easily.
You'd sleep next to me. We'd sit together in class; we'd watch films or play playstation and you were so close to me, all of the time.
I know I messed things up; I've said it on here before. But third year was different. When we did talk, you were defensive. And I was on the attack. I'd ask you questions you didn't want to answer and I always felt like I wasn't just talking to you; I was talking to the three girls you lived with too.
I stopped asking those questions but I didn't stop hoping that somewhere in your head, I'd made you listen. I never stopped hoping that.
I still haven't watched saw seven, and stupidly, naively, it's because I hope to watch it with you one day. I'm owed it.
Take it however you want to; ignore it, call me crazy, or decide that I'm just rehashing old thoughts for funnies - but I know you. Or, I knew you. And I'm not going to give up on that guy, and I never will.
Even if we never speak; even if I never see you again; even if I meet a man who wants to marry me; even if you tell me you hate me; I'll never stop loving you.