Its neither daunting nor enlightening. It is change, and it is coming. A gradual but inevitable change.
I wish to seize all opportunities. I cannot sit through this current life. Its frustrating and aggravating. I feel disconnected from the person I was before all this began. I feel like I've grown, but what into, I'm still not sure.
I don't know what will happen here. I don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing. I have no answers, no solutions, only knowledge of change. Sweeping change, like a hurricane.
I like living here. I like my space, my comfort, and my surroundings. Its not been especially easy, but its better than what I had before. I don't know if I'll lose it in the change. So I'm trying to hold on to it a bit; appreciate the finer things. Learn to dance in the rain.
Before I leave, I want to tell them both that I love them. They've been better friends than I would have thought possible, and they've been my normal this year. This year has both been long and tiresome, and equally has flashed past in an instant.
Christmas is fast approaching. Plans are being made, relatives are coming out of the woodwork, and at some point soon, I'll start making lists of presents, gifts, tokens of love.
Until then, I enjoy the approaching cold weather. It tells me that things get worse before they get better. It tells me that change is seasonal, its inherent, you can't stop it or fight it, but if you wrap up well, you can enjoy it.