This week, I have had to lie. And I mean 'had'. I couldn't not, and I hate it. I hate lying. I hate this feeling that now looms in my gut that all the crap thats going on right now, I've smothered with lies.
Where to begin...
So I recently said I feel guilty about a guy at work quitting, right? His name is Chris. He's worked for my parents twice now, and yesterday, on the way home from our second event together, he was telling me his plans for the morning. "I've got to go to the Locks, face Colin, and get my wages off him. And I've got to leave Steph (girlfriend)".
Now for some stupid, unknown, ridiculous reason, I then asked the silly question, "What?". So he repeated. He told me how he didn't want to be with Steph anymore, because he thought that she felt their relationship was too serious and he didn't want it to be, and he was just 'content' with her, not actually happy. Oh, and he would've broken up with her today, but as he was working for me, didn't have the time.
Great stuff. Thing is, Steph works at The Locks too. I like her. She's a really nice girl, has cool blue and red hair, works hard and is a good person to be around in general. And is almost as bad at Irish snap as I am. So when Chris said this, I felt a little heartbroken for her, but he then said "oh, don't mention any of this to Steph tomorrow, will ya?"
Today, Steph came into work, twenty mintues late because she had to pick up Alice, who overslept, and as she comes through the door she says something to Ife, and he hugs her. Now, I don't know what she said, but I knew already. I knew he had already broken up with her. But she hadn't told me yet, so I had to continue like nothing had happened.
An hour or so into our shift, she tells me "Chris broke up with me this morning." "Fuck", I say, sympathetic, and talk to her about how she is, etc. She smiles, she's putting on a brave face, as she's had to come straight from heartbreak number 3 (he's broken up with her three times, how ridiculous is that?), to work. Bad day for Steph. She then turns to me and says, "did he mention anything to you last night?" I want to tell her, because I don't want to lie to her, but it will only hurt more. I say no. If I'd said yes, and she's asked what he'd said, I may have revealed something to her that he hadn't actually told her. I can't do that. I just have to lie.
So that's situation one. Situation two precedes this, because last week when I felt all guilt about asking Chris to work and him quitting, my boss asked me, when I came in to pick up my wages, "Do you know anything about why Chris thought I was angry with him, got in a huff and stormed out?" I lied. I said "No, I don't know why Chris would have done that." Truth is, I know why. I know that Chris got a text off me and Jasmine warning him that Colin was mad. I didn't say too much, but I know Jasmine told him that his shifts would get cut and Colin didn't want to have to see him in his pub anymore. But I wasn't about to get my new best friend into shit with the boss. So I lied.
On to situation three - Jasmine's drunken mistake. Friday morning, before work, she phones me, sounding like shit, saying she's massively hungover, waiting for the bus to get to work, and this morning she woke up next to a stranger, who claims they had sex during the night, but she can't remember this. Oh dear, I say. She then tells me she's already phoned Ben (her boyfriend, my best friend / un-related brother) and told him, and he says that they need to talk about things.
I gave Jasmine the best advice I could (considering I have some experience in these matters) and bought her some hangover relief for work. That was Friday. Today (sunday), she calls me when I'm at work, where signal is hard to come by, so our conversation took a while, but she basically tells me that Ben's on his way over and she's worried that he's going to break up with her. I tell her that there's only one thing she can do, and that is ask him to forgive her. Of course, he may have already decided what he's going to do, so just try be a gracious girlfriend while you can be.
I've been busy. And my one day off last week, I text Ben, thinking 'haven't seen Howarth in ages, would be nice to hang out" and his reply just kicks me in the groin, because not only can I not see him, I can't even go to his house. I can't see Sue, Alex or Louise. And he will be unavailable for at least the next 24 hours. His reply: "hanging out with your ex". Great stuff.
So today I text Ben again, but I felt like I had to be careful with words. And he never replied. And Jasmine never told me what happened with their conversation. And now I feel like this big middle-man in a big scenario I don't want to be in, but I want to help if I can, because inevitably, one of them will need consoling.
So that third lie hasn't happened yet. I'm really hoping it doesn't, but I get the feeling I will hear things that I shouldn't pass on, and will later be questioned about it, and have to deny ever hearing it. I wish people would stop telling me things.
Today has been long, arduous, I hate football, my feet hurt, I am thinking about demanding 'fresh air breaks' for all the times EVERYONE else goes and has a smoke (I'm literally the only one that doesn't smoke. Except Jasmine. But she wasn't at work today. So it SUCKED.) I also hate radio five live. The only pub in the freaking county that doesn't have any electricity (we run off a generator), you think would be the one place to escape the football. Oh hell no. Ify's got the radio on. And he's going to sit there, and listen to it, right next to it, and just watch me doing the washing up, the pile getting bigger and bigger. He doesn't realise his ears still work if his hands are doing something. GAH.
Rant over. Certain things about this job really bloody grind my gears. But its money. And inspiration for stories about wankers, ass-kissers, weed growers, weed smokers, school-bus drivers and ferry-boat owners. All in a day at the Locks.