Have you ever heard a song that sent shivers down your spine more than once? Have you ever heard a song that just made perfect sense - like someone had seen into your mind, and written exactly how one emotion controls you, except you've never met that person before: in fact, you're sitting on a train, flicking desperately though your iPod, and you just stumbled upon this utter gem one day.
Let's journey back. Sometime between 2003 and 2005, I can't remember when, I was sitting home watching music channels like a cool kid, and saw a video for a song, Palahnuik's Laughter. Being 12 when Busted were about, I knew that Charlie Simpson was the reason Busted split, wanting to start a rock band. I had heard murmurs of the band being a failure, but I saw the video, heard the song and thought, yeah. That wasn't terrible. Not as good as 'Thunderbirds Are Go', but hey, I'm still a little sad about that.
A few years passed. In my 'emo' years I would download 5 or so songs of one artist who I had heard one song of to see if I liked any of there other stuff. I had downloaded a few Fightstar tracks from 'They Liked You Better When You Were Dead', all very poor quality, and despite the crackling, I enjoyed the other stuff.
2009, at some point, hits. I'm just chilling out at the pub after a long laborious day at university, and my friends Coates and Matt are having an age-old argument (I'm pretty sure every one else was joining in too). Coates makes one seething comment about anyone, probably Gerard Way, or Jared Leto, as he hates them both so much - and Matt, or anyone's response, would always be "go listen to Busted". Of course, I heard this all happening, and thought I'd chip in with 'I like fightstar'. Probably didn't help, as my music taste is some what bizarre, and I am a proud fan of McFly... Needless to say, once the argument had moved on, Coates brings this up again. "You like Fightstar? Or have you just heard their singles..." I reply that I really like the song Amethyst, and he basically creams himself. "OH MY GOD, they're playing in Brighton in a few months and I have no one to go with - COME!"
So, months later, we go to said gig. It happens to fall right in the middle of the worst few months of my life, so I have to leave the gig to take a phone call from Ben, and I get very angry, try to phone Rich but he doesn't answer (and I later get told off for leaving him some kind of message... God knows what it said. I'd had a lot to drink). And I go back into the venue. The men, throwing themselves around the room, are nothing like the fans you see at pop concerts - I would know, I've been to enough of them - and this is far from that. Fightstar suddenly seem more real to me, as they stand their, playing their guts out, creating fights in a packed Brighton venue, I think 'yeah. they're cool. I'm not embarrassed to be here'. Coates and I wait outside to meet the band. "Fan Boy" Coates is like a child on Christmas eve, and I take pictures of him with all the guys. He loves it. We go to a hotel, shower, sleep, and go home in the morning, having missed our last train just so we could take pictures.
Uni then gets very interesting. Friends disappear like ships in the mist; I'm alone a lot, thinking a lot, writing and working and not knowing what the hell happened to my life. I remember a song I heard Fightstar playing live that sounded so good, and really struck a nerve (after my phone calls), called War Machine. I put my ipod into my speakers and just listen. The song brings me to think about my own life, and how I can't handle all the shit people keep throwing at me, and equally that the story I had given up on still has life in it. I remember wanting to put all my problems into Dali's world, so that I could deal with them better. She was my cure for life, and I had forgotten how to tap into that.
Summer, and third year, and I have to decide what to do for my final project. I still think Dali is dead and buried, but I can't think of a single idea strong enough to write for a year without getting sick of it. I walk to uni alone one morning and scroll desperately through my iPod - I hover over Feeder, and I see Fightstar. Something that day literally called out to me. I listened to the playlist from the top, and as I approached the uni building, four songs later, I knew exactly what to do about my story. Dali would be resurrected, with a furious passion, and I would incorporate the songs meanings into it, very subtly, and build something from there.
'Be Human' is the album I go to when I need to write emotional scenes, and 'Grand Unification' is the album I go to when I need to get into Dali's head, feel her troubles, and tap into that teenage anger. I have made up entire sequences of story development purely from listening to a Fightstar song. They helped me narrow down my ideas so much - Charlie hails from Suffolk, and I had been advised to 'write what you know' in terms of location, so I ditched the 'Worthing' idea, as I wanted south coast, and went with East Coast - Suffolk, Southwold, a place I know and love, and can therefore justify having Fightstar on the soundtrack. This also influenced my 'British' idea. Charlie's voice is amazing, and I wanted to find other British bands and artists that complemented, matched and continued that tone. Admittedly, The Beatles was a weird one, but hey, I got a first, no point being fussy now!
Since then, Charlie released a solo album 'Young Pilgrim', which Coates and I have seen two tour dates of, and are now planning a third. I've just downloaded Charlie's old EP, 'When We Were Lions', and its all I can listen to.
This man, his band, and the music they create, has literally helped my life in many ways. As much as Muse and 30 Seconds to Mars have done a lot, I don't think they're quite up there with saving my life from crumbling away into self-despising agony. I am so glad that I used to sit home all Saturday watching music channels as a kid. Mum said it would never get me anywhere, but I think I just proved that it actually got me a first - something no one in my family thought I could achieve.