This will be a brief summary, but know that there is much more.
Everything I know is changing. Everyone I love, all the things that I own and care for, are slipping away, forgotten, lost, left behind or just unwanted. I've put my life through the blender and I still can't piece together what I've got left.
Moving from London-on-Sea to Middle-of-No-Where really weighs in my heart. I can't tell you how I feel, because its a feeling I'm completely new to, and have not grasped its true meaning yet. This tends to be the case for most things right now.
I don't want to lose the two people I've left behind; I just have to try fit them into my life. I don't want to be in a relationship, and I don't want to be alone either, so I'm at this half-way house of fear and confusion, staring at the faces of memories and wondering what I'm supposed to do next. I'm searching for a sign, a clue, anything, just something the Universe can throw at me so I can get up and get on the treadmill again, and not feel like I fell down and don't know why I should bother getting up again.
I'm decorating, I'm baking, I'm drinking too much and not exercising, I'm trying to find ways of helping my friends but can't find the time in my already very busy life.
I hope that my next entry will be more fulfilled, and actually say something good.
At least my brother is home and alive.
I'll write something more poetic soon; I'll write about the beauty and heartache in Capeside; but not today. Not yet.