Two nights in a row of drinking, not sleeping, drinking through my unsolved issues, drinking past my paranoia, and drinking out of my inhibitions. Both nights were spent with the same three people in common - Chris, Ollie and Imogen. And today, I spent all day with Chris, a 38 year old I'd just met called James, and an old friend called Ben (not Howarth). And now I am very tired, but I feel better about one thing: I know that when all else feels crap, its not drink that solves things, it's good company. Particularly when that good company is so fond of hugs.
In the small hours of [this morning / last night] a bottle of morphine came out, and everyone started sipping. Ollie hit the floor after two sips. Chris got to about 7, everyone else kept it safe and had a good time with it. The Donovan house was rather full for once, so four of us had to sleep on two sofas: Ollie and Imo on one, Chris and I on the other. To add some backstory, Chris and I have been friends for over a year now, having met when I worked at the Locks. We still hang out quite a lot, usually as a large group, but recently we've had some fun adventures together, particularly the 4am sunrise / beach swimming session, during which we had a nap (and a spoon, as dry towel space was limited) and all was cosy. So on the sofa we snuggled up with our sleeping bags and cushions and slept like monsters.
The small Donovan kids came into the living room at 9am to see who was sleeping in their house, informed us that they were getting the day off school because there mother had overslept and was too hungover to drive them in, and then they left. I realised for the first time that I'd had a couple of really deep, intense dreams, like I was shocked to wake up and discover that they weren't real, but their contents had not stuck very well in my mind, so fear not, this is not a dream entry. And Chris, who has been drinking heavily every night for over a week due to fear of going home and telling his father about being unemployed, got the first good night's sleep since starting his drinking binge. He puts it down to the morphine, but I felt something different (and barely had any morphine) - I think you sleep better when someone is next to you. Like, they are mentally protecting you from invasive bad dreams, negative emotions and that over-tiredness from sleeping all day. Its healthy to sleep next to another person, and to wake up to the sound of their heart beat. And all day I've felt a little lighter, and a little easier, because I had a few good hours of sleep.
I also got some excellent news today - there is a flat in Bungay which the landlords want to give us the tenancy to! Party times with Jack and Luke. Ayipee!
Also also, my sisters are home at the moment, preparing for their weekend in Glastonbury, and I yet still not told them about my visits to the uni counsellor. Tomorrow I also get a call from the NHS counsellor about further my sessions, as she thinks cognitive behaviour therapy will be beneficial, which involves face-to-face sessions with another counsellor. So I may have 3 counsellors. Odd.