I've grown up in varying ways in the last year or so. Leaving uni isn't the biggest factor, but it has made me realise a lot about myself. Last night confirmed something for me which I've always known, but never really wanted to admit - I am not a clubber.
I don't know if it's because I grew up drinking at house parties and pubs, or if it's because I went to a girls school and now actively avoid situations in which I find myself tightly surrounded by drunk, semi-naked, self-important girls who would rather stab you in the foot with their ridiculous heel than admit that the world doesn't revolve around them. Either way, I just don't feel comfortable in clubs. I like to be sat in a booth with a glass of wine, or at least something alcoholic that doesn't cost half the earth just to rot my teeth and fuzz my tongue up - and be able to chat with my friends. Dancing is fun, yes, but I can't dance when I feel like everyone in the room wants to either punch or fuck everyone they walk past. It's ridiculous.
Also, getting up at 7.30 every day means that anything past 1a.m. is a massive struggle, and my job doesn't make me want to dance the night away. My job makes me want to lose myself in something, be it a book, TV show, video game or film (but films don't last long, so aren't the best help), and I know that avoiding life isn't a great option, but I know it won't last forever, so I don't really see it as that bad.
I'm just getting by, day by day, trying to be patient, but panicking about it the whole time.