Sunday 14 July 2013

Patience is Bitter

Everything has been leading towards this, the whole time, and now that I see it, it seems so obvious, but I never knew that this is where things were leading to. I never would have seen this coming. And now, its only moments away, and I want to reach out, grab it, embrace it and grow from it.


And somehow, daft as it sounds in my own head, I know that he is at the centre of all of this. I know that my happiness, my getting better, my decisions and my motivations can all be centred upon him. And he doesn't know it, but I do. And he doesn't know how much those little things mean to me. And he has no idea of the impact that he's had on my life, and particularly, is about to have. It's exciting yet terrifying. I want to tell him, but I can't. And I'm sure other people know too. Other people are suspicious of my casual happiness, of my good moods and my up-beat nature. And questions are being asked which I know I can't lie about, so instead I'm either avoiding the question or changing it around, answering a different question or starting a funny digression. It won't keep up; they'll notice soon. And he must have noticed, but maybe that's a good thing.

Time will tell.

As Jean-Jacques Rousseau said, "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."